April 15, 2014

~ Cue the Sh*t-fit ~

So I gave up Facebook for Lent,  yes,  I'm sure Jesus is super impressed…during that time some funny things happened that I wanted to share but couldn't,  one of them being the most epic public sh*t-fit you've ever seen by this darling.   More on that in a minute...
Sometimes I need to do a better job of remembering I have 2 very different girls,  I fall victim to the prey of a busy schedule and it's easier,  for my sake,  to just throw Libby Lu in whatever activity Luci is doing because they happen at the same time.

About one year ago Luci (her older sister) started figure skating.  She fell in love with it.   She loves to perform and her dance class only had one recital per year and that just wasn't enough,  so we quit ballet and went with skating.

Figure skating has been a perfect outlet for Luci because she can do as many shows and competitions as she wants.  

At her first figure skating competition and she won first place!   The other 3 girls who skated before her ALL skated to Disney songs,  so I was a little worried knowing she was going to go out there and shake it to Pharrell Williams - but she did really good.   She had the crowd clapping' and a smile on her face.  Luci loves the being center of attention and she's great at it. 
This time around,  I signed Libby Lu with Luci for skating class because their age groups skate at the same time.   They had an end of the year show last weekend.   The theme was the Olympics and each performance was a nod to different countries.

Luci got Canada,  and she skated along proudly to some weird Canadian song I hope I never hear again.  Things went off without a hitch. 

Libby Lu got Japan,  hence the Kimono belt and hat.   I was a little worried about Libby Lu and her performance because she is a bit of a free spirit and not exactly a performer.  But my husband said she did awesome in the dress rehearsal,   knew her routine well,  and since she is only 4 her coach gets to skate out there and do the routine with her.
(Photo courtesy of Brentwood 40 South News)

Libby Lu's name was announced on the microphone, as she skated out from the big red curtain she looked happy and smiley so I wasn't really worried.

She takes her starting position,  the music begins…. and cue the Shit-fit. 

Yes,  a Shit fit of epic proportions,  at center ice for the whole crowd to see,  set to the sounds of some beautiful Japanese string quartet. 

Now you should know that a figure skating audience is a lot like a bowling,  or a golf crowd.  They sit fairly silent, with the occasional organized gasp when someone falls,  or the polite golf-clap to reward a well landed jump, …so not exactly what I'm used to but I'm learning.

We've all seen the dance recitals where one little girl is too shy to do her routine,  or goes off the script and does her own thing.  But this was different.  Libby Lu lost her mind out there. 

Turning her back to the crowd, crossing her arms,  stomping her foot,  flailing her arms and skating for her life to escape the grasp of her desperate coach.   Everytime her coach would catch up with her and try to guide her back to the routine it was like watching one of those Alligators with a rope around it's neck going into a death roll. 

At one point my husband hauled ass from our seats in the bleachers, to the open door on the side of the rink,  just incase the teacher needed help getting the little a-hole off the ice. 

It was 2 minutes of sheer chaos.  All while the orchestra music played triumphantly in the background. 

It was like watching a train wreck that you couldn't take your eyes off of,  except imagine your own little evil spawn driving the caboose.  

Thankfully the audience went from complete horror and confusion to hysterical laughter.   Which just gave her brother and sister the green light to hoot and holler and cheer her antics on.

Have you ever seen the end of the movie "Little Miss Sunshine" - where the little girl starts her stripper routine and the family goes from being completely embarrassed to joining her on stage?  Yeah.  Pretty much like that.

GIFSoup

Those 2 minutes seems like 2 hours.  

When she was finally carried off the ice the only explanations she gave us was "They played the wrong music" and "I wanted to do my other moves" - I didn't argue with her,  she is 4,  so I gave her a hug,  asked her if she had fun,  and then bought her some popcorn.

We drove home in silence,  except the pouring rain on the windshield , completely exhausted from our long day.   I thought our embarrassment would be contained to the people who were within the walls of that ice rink,  and my mom,  who I called to tell of our horror.

So imagine my surprise the next day when this was in the local Brentwood news publication.


Yeah,  here is a close up of that.



 Oh Libby Lu,  you have a personality as wild and crazy as your hair.   You are bossy and loud,  stubborn and impatient,  and just when I'm about to lose my cool with you,  you do something completely hysterical,  and usually inappropriate,  and I fall in love with you even more. 

Someone once said to me "You parent the child you have,  not the child you wanted" - I don't think you are going to be a performer like your sister, and you don't ever have to be.  I love you so much.