December 17, 2010

~ Hustle and Bustle ~


This morning, my 3 year old Luci, couldn't get her sparkly tights off in time to make it on the pot. She had an accident on the bathroom floor. I have never, ever been more excited to clean up pee...it made my day.


Let me back up a bit...

I have authority issues, I think rules don't apply to me, I know this and I'm working on it.

Perfect example was in October, I received a letter being summoned to Jury Duty. I didn't go. Just that simple, didn't want to go, so I didn't go. This didn't surprise my mother at all, she is used to it. We had a conversation that went like this:

Mom: Kelly, you know you HAVE to go, right?
Me: No I don't, they have like 300 people a day, they won't even know I'm not there.

It reminded me of the conversation she had with me when I was 15 and flying to California all by myself. She said ;

Mom: Kelly, you are only allowed to check 2 suitcases, you have 3 they will not let you on the plane.
Me: Yes they will Mom, they won't notice.

Well..they noticed, I sat on the floor in Lambert airport scrambling to shove my 3 bags into 2. Some old airline guy was helping me, some of my girlfriends got me a thing of "Vagisil" feminine powder as a joke and it had spilled all over in my bags. I almost missed my flight and me and the poor guy helping me were covered in Vagisil by the time we were done.

Turns out..you can't just "skip" jury duty either...

I got a strongly worded letter, something about a $500 fine and jail time. So I was rescheduled for December.

So the date rolls around. Hello, Ice and Snow storm, on the WARMEST morning of my jury duty is was 7 degrees. I had to get up at the butt-crack of dawn and carry 2 sleeping, jammied, warm babies into a cold car and haul them over to my moms house in Illinois. Then turn around and drive right back through the same rush hour traffic back by my house to the courthouse.

I was an entire hour late, still in my pajamas and didn't even take the time to put on a bra or brush my teeth. (For the record I did do the "rub your teeth on the inside of your t-shirt trick"...don't look at me like that, you know you've done it.) but this was all fine by me, it played into my "Slacker" persona. I thought if I show up an hour late looking like this, no lawyer in their right mind is going to be pick me for a jury.

I had to park 3 blocks away in the parking garage and battle the ice snow and wind to find the right building, the wind was so cold it felt like needles in my face. I arrive, check into the "cattle call" room. People had talked to me about the cattle call room. You hang out there with about 300-400 people, most people are in there all day, never get called and get to go home....sweet, this should be easy.

I settled in a chair in the back and got 2 minutes into an intense game of Mario Kart on my 6 year olds "Nintendo DS" and a Baliff walks in on a microphone and announces they have selected 30 people as potential jurors on a case...

Name # 1 - John Smith
Name # 2 - Kelly Manno

Wha...What?!?!

From there we were taken straight down to a real courtroom, with a plantiff a defendant, their lawyers, a judge, the works! I couldn't help but think "Dude this is just like Judge Judy" from the 30 of us, the lawyers would select 12 for the trail. I knew this was my time to shine and say something totally off the wall to get sent home, but we learned this was a trail between an oil company and an investment property firm. So the only questions they were asking us were things like "Have you ever worked in the oil business?" "Have you worked in property management", "Have you ever sued anyone?" I didn't have a chance to say squat!

Once all the questions were done the prosecuting attorney said "If there are any other reasons not mentioned that you think would make you not fit for this trail please state so now." and in a last ditch effort I stood up in front of 30 people and said...

Me: I can't hold my pee longer than an hour
Courtrooom : "Crickets..."
Attorney: Is that a medical condition, or do you have a Doctors note?
Me: No I just had 3 babies really fast and my bladder is shot.
Courtroom: "Giggles..."

For the record that is basically true, I have a bladder the size of a grape.

But I'm going to make a long story short. I was picked, I was Juror number 5 and had to spend a couple days listening to testimony, examinations, cross examinations, objections, the works. And you know what? It was kind of cool. Yes I hated and loathed the hustle and bustle of downtown working life. But once I was there, it was an honor to see our justice system in action and I am really glad they picked me. Some people will go their whole life and only see it on TV, it was fascinating in person.

I shouldn't have been such a brat and I should have just gone the first time.

When I got home and saw my kids and the end of those days it was like I hadn't seen them in years, I had to check them and make sure they didn't grow while I was gone :) I could not imagine being gone from my children from 7am-6pm every day, I could never be a working mother, I. would. die.

And then I realized....millions of parents, moms in particular, do this every day. Some do it because they have to, some do it because they want to. For those of you who have to, I am so, so sorry. To those of you who "want" to - THANK YOU! Women need a voice in the workplace and whimps like me would never survive.

The trail is now over. When I woke up my first morning home to a toddler and a puddle of pee I thought "Bring It" - THIS is the kind of crisis mama can handle....

So life is back to normal, I wake up and stumble around the kitchen with bed head hair and one eye open like a pirate, pack back-packs and lunches, send Rocky off to school. Then the girls roll out of bed and onto the couch where we watch Sesame Street and yawn and stretch out way through the morning, then we peel ourselves off the couch and head to the tub...
Then it's time for breakfast, I think this is the part where I am suppose to pretend I feed them whole wheat organic oatmeal and fiber, micro-something or other juice. But these are fruity cheerios...and they are delicious.
Libby Lu has a new trick, she can stand if she balances against the wall. She is very proud.
The rest of my day consists of the most simple and happy things. Snack time, craft time, reading time, movie time and
very little communication with any other adults.
Far, far away from the hustle and bustle of working city life.

But let's be real, I don't ride Unicorns all day. Between the good stuff there are also melt-downs because a Barbie shoe won't fit, puddles of pee to clean, crabby teething babies, smelly diapers and whole lot of other stuff that someone else may consider "Hustle and Bustle" but it's my hustle and bustle, and it's awesome.

2 comments :

Veronica said...

I love your hustle and bustle and wish I could do it more. But when do you get a chance to work on pictures?

Aunt Patti said...

That pic of Libby Lu sitting on the floor looking up is PRICELESS!!! What a smile!!!!